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Religion & Spirituality |
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Going to Pieces without Falling Apart
written by Mark Epstein
Studio : Broadway
by Broadway
Release Date : 1999-06-01
Publisher : Broadway
Released : 1999-06-01
Availability : Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Number of Items : 1
EAN : 9780767902359
Avg. Customer Rating: (based on 46 reviews)
List Price : $14.95
Our Price : $5.96
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Product Description |
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For decades, Western psychology has promised fulfillment through building and strengthening the ego. We are taught that the ideal is a strong, individuated self, constructed and reinforced over a lifetime. But Buddhist psychiatrist Mark Epstein has found a different way. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart shows us that happiness doesn't come from any kind of acquisitiveness, be it material or psychological. Happiness comes from letting go. Weaving together the accumulated wisdom of his two worlds--Buddhism and Western psychotherapy--Epstein shows how "the happiness that we seek depends on our ability to balance the ego's need to do with our inherent capacity to be." He encourages us to relax the ever-vigilant mind in order to experience the freedom that comes only from relinquishing control. Drawing on events in his own life and stories from his patients, Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart teaches us that only by letting go can we start on the path to a more peaceful and spiritually satisfying life. |
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Americancivilwar.com Review |
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In the era of self-empowerment and the relentless glorification of self-esteem, Mark Epstein is questioning whether we have it all backward. As a psychiatrist and practicing Buddhist for 25 years, Epstein has come to believe that the self-help movement has encouraged us to spend enormous amounts of time, money, and mental energy on patching up our egos, rather than pursuing true self-awareness. Instead, Epstein suggests we carefully shatter the ego, as if it were a fat piggy bank, to see what's inside--a scary prospect for those who spend their lives in fear of falling apart. But fear not. Epstein artfully shows readers how to patch the pieces together again into a far richer and more meaningful mosaic. --Gail Hudson |
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FOR EVERY SEASON TURN, TURN, TURN |
n the 70s self help books had a we're-all-in-this-together feeling and clustered around themes such as I'm Ok, You're OK. In the 80s, decade of money-making, self help moved onto managing time and handling the people--either at home or in the workplace--who made you angry or got in your way: think One Minute Manager and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In the 90s, books such as Listening to Prozac pondered pharmaceutical possibilities for being comfortable with the self and remaking the self. Move on to the first decade of the 2000s and we find popular self-help and transformational books combine Buddhism with notions of happiness and letting go of ego. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart is of that genre.
I saw this book on the coffee table of a friend who had just gone through a difficult divorce. She said the book helped her get through it. Since, my adult child is having a difficult time right now, I thought I would check out the book.
Going to Piece... is very formularific. For some readers, that may be comforting. The self-help genre is predictable in its presentation of material. After the writer introduces his/her theme and presents what is coming in subsequent chapters, the formula begins: idea, examples, summary; idea, examples, summary; idea, examples, summary. You get the picture.
Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart: A Buddhist Perspective on Wholeness: Lessons from Meditation and Psychotherapy ( two subtitles!) follows the pattern. Writer Mark Epstein presents a deck of themes, themes such as Emptiness, Surrender, Tolerance. He provides examples. First, from his practice: usually how his patients achieved an epiphany that relates to a Buddhist principle that relates to the title of the chapter. Second, an example from his personal or family life. Third, he tells a story about Buddha or Buddhist monk. Support in the summary (sometimes in examples, too) he cites Harvard--either his experience at Harvard, his medical training at Harvard, a Harvard study that he participated in or was carried out by others.
By the third chapter, the genre's transparency became awfully tedious. Just another self-help/transformational book. The books are like carosels,and the horses that rotate around the center are different.
I suppose relating Buddhist philosophy to feeling lonely, to passion, to relationships and telling people it is OK to fall apart can be helpful to people, such as it was to my friend who was going through a divorce. And the book keeps in mind the twistaroonee in Buddhism, as I have been taught (and I am a beginner at it): abandon any hope for fruition. In other words, whatever you do, don't expect results. Epstein upholds this teaching as the core of his commentary.
For those interested in Buddhism and transformation,in all its playfulness and irony, I recommend a book that is not so formularific: Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness by Chogyam Trungpa.
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Emptiness Within and Around |
I came across this book by chance at a conference book-display at a time when I am reasonably advanced in my understanding of Buddhism, both in philosophy and in practice. I am a meditator for several years and also study Buddhist philosophy. With that background, reading the book was an easy delight. Because Epstein talks about his exploration of Buddhism from an early age in his life rendered by his interest in Eastern spirituality and later sees it through the eyes of a Western psychiatrist. This is a refreshing addition to many similar clinicians around our time, notably Jon Kabat-Zinn, Matthew Ricard and Riohard Davidson who, in a specific way, focus on the meditative aspects of Buddhist practices.
Epstein simplifies the 'urban myth' about Buddhism, that it's not about being empty and renoucing self and world, but it's about learning the truth of the emptiness within and around us which one is often not allowed or 'trained' to acknowledge. The Western views in life, broadly, are about precision, differentiation and individuation. The East deals with this aspect by focussing on harmonisation and integrity. This is where this book impacts the reader's ideas if not downright challenge them. Epstein talks about his journey into exploring that "You have to be somebody before you can be nobody", ie, receiving psychotherapy allows one to find and define 'self' whereas Buddhism/its meditative practices are all about 'losing one's self'. Is that possible? Epstein can convince you.
Whilst reading the book, I can't help but think of modern day integral psychotherapy model pioneered by Wilber where he explains that one needs to constantly 'embrace, expand and transcent". What it means, in my opinion, is that we can feel life, have life, develop the mundane attachments and then 'go beyond' (trascend) and cultivate that ethereal detachment. It's a very subtle balance. Epstein throws a new easy light on this concept.
I enjoyed Epstein's attempt to understand and inform the reader of the commonalities between Buddhism and psychotherapy as a way to approaching the self-exploration. Both can be considered similar in ways how they address that space within which is the 'psyche' (Greek soul). He shows the reader that it's not impossible to experience real happiness and still experience 'emptiness' at the same time, and yet not get perturbed by it as one can integrate one's being to allow for such experiences to occur. Some might perceive it as too basic an attempt, especially the way he explains his professional contacts and deepens his understanding into various aspects of Buddhism including tantra etc. I found it interesting and would not hesitate recommending this book to anyone who wants to form a foundation in their knowledge on this topic. |
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Awareness trumps neurosis |
Although small in size, Epstein's book presents quite a powerful synthesis of Buddhism and psychotherapy. Amazingly, he brings clarity to the paradoxical concepts of: feeling whole by accepting emptiness; finding happiness by letting go; feeling more at peace by tolerating uncertainty; and being able to go to pieces in order to avoid falling apart. I've already read this book twice, and I have no doubt that each successive read will uncover more gems hidden inside. The writing is superb, the presentation is compelling and lucid, and the way Epstein is able to distill and integrate key concepts of Buddhism and psychotherapy is beyond impressive. Epstein concludes the book by reflecting on how his being able to incorporate the Buddhist principles into his life has "allowed my awareness to be stronger than my neurosis" (p. 181). May we all achieve such a state. :)
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Going to pieces peacefully.... |
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A Buddhist psychologist recommended this book to me and I am glad they did. It not only presents a readable and enjoyable introduction to some mindfulness concepts, but also a good way to start to appreciate relevant Buddhist concepts. It is written in an accessible way and a must for anyone who sees the journey as more important than the destination.... |
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Going through a crisis? Try this book! |
About 1/2 year ago I went through what might be called an existential or mid-life crisis (depending on who you ask).
I found the insights and viewpoints in this book to be very helpful in getting a different way of looking at the same bad situation that I was dealing with.
I do tend to gravitate towards Buddhism, and this book uses it a lot. But I think that Buddhist philosophy has a lot of valuable insight into dealing with internal conflict and crisis.
If I was asked to come up with a single sentence to describe this book, it would be "this book taught me how to be OK with not being OK." |
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