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Parenting & Families |
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Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother
written by Jana Wolff
Studio : Vista Communications
by Vista Communications
Publisher : Vista Communications
Released : 1999-09
Availability : Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Number of Items : 1
EAN : 9780967214313
Avg. Customer Rating: (based on 44 reviews)
List Price : $12.95
Our Price : $7.36
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Product Description |
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This fiercely honest and funny book answers questions no one else dares to ask: What if I don't like the kid I get? Will my child ever feel like mine? If this is the happiest day of my life, why am I so sad? Will she want the baby back? Will I want to return him? The book garnered rave reviews from Betty Jean Lifton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Cathy Guisewite, Adoptive Families of America, San Francisco Chronicle, and hundreds of readers. New, revised edition now in paper. |
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Fantastic |
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I tore through her book and read many passages out loud to my husband who seemed to also appreciate her perspective. I took it for that - her perspective. An open and shockingly honest portrayal of her emotions and thoughts throughout her adoption experience. I've already loaned it to a friend. What I was most thankful for was that someone had the courage to say what many of us think at different times during the adoption process. Sure, not everything applied to my experience, but I didn't expect it to. Read this book if you need reassurance that those "secret" thoughts you are having are normal and okay. |
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She writes honestly |
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It's just nice to hear something from adoptive moms. It's like we are not allowed to have any feelings.."after all we got what we wanted..a child". The poor poor birth mom and what she is going through or has been through. There is alot of mixed emotions out their and it was awfully nice of this adoptive mom to put herself on the chopping block with her own story. I am an adoptive mom and I have to say it's hard to get support from agencies and some websites. The more unresolved issues we have the more that gets past down to the child (children). It's all about them or is it??? At least there is someone who wants to help the rest of us and recognize that there is more then just the "poor poor birthmom" involved here. |
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Interesting |
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I bought this book expecting to be offended and angry after reading it. As a birthmother myself, I had been warned that I would be reading some pretty harsh stuff. I was actually quite surprised that I was not offended at all. What I found upon reading this book is how similar birthmothers and adoptive mothers are. I have learned from some very intelligent birthmothers, who are also adoption counselors, to step back and look at how much infertility and unplanned pregnancy are so similar. We face the same issues, the same rude comments, the same ignorant opinions of everyone around us. If you are not involved in the triad, you just have no idea. My sons adoptive mother does not even know if she wants to read this book, but I am going to reccommend it. I enjoyed seeing things from an adoptive mothers perspective. But I also reminded myself that every story is different and everyones feelings are different. Not every adoptive parent is going to feel this way. There are so many people out there, like ourselves, who have honest and very loving open adoptions. I also think Jana has had to tackle the race issue on top of the adoptions stuff...which I think she seemed to have a bigger problem with. Overall, a good read for both birthmothers and adoptive parents. I would not reccommend to an adopted child. Regardless, this book needs to be read with an open mind and an open heart. |
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Must-Read |
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This book is a must-read for people planning to adopt, and those who have adopted and are still adjusting. There are a lot of feelings and fears that most people won't talk about during the adoption process, but they are there and they are real, and this author explores them. |
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This book is not for those that expect Adoptive Moms to be perfection |
This is one of the books I tell any perspective adoptive Mom to read....the entire adoption process is at times frustrating and mind boggling. There are plenty of other great books that explain adoption ethics, respect for birthfamilies, the emotional loss of the adoptee, and how to make sure that you are supportive of the needs of the adopted child.
This book is strictly for women who want to vent and don't feel there is anywhere "safe" enough to let it all hang out, and don't even like that they even had the thought. This is for the darkest and most honest parts of ourselves. It isn't that I felt this way all the time, or even most of the time, but since I am human there were times when this book let me know that I wasn't alone or a horrible person for being fed up....fed up with the process, fed up with the adoption workers, and yes fed up with some of the perspective Birthmothers that we came into contact with. Not because I wanted the baby at all costs but because it is all so surreal. I can imagine that some birthmoms and even adoptees might be offended by some of the book...but it isn't written for them. |
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